Archive for November 15th, 2011

I thought about not Publishing this…but, I did.

“I think happiness is overrated, truthfully. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes  you’re not,” *he said. “There’s too much pressure to be happy. I don’t give a  (bleep). Being at peace is more of a goal for myself.”

*…legendary Brad Pitt…:)

For some odd reason, while reading an article today about Missouri native Brad Pitt’s contemplated retirement in three years at age 50, I exprienced an epiphany of sorts…

Nov. 14, 2011: I had been up since early this morning – about 3:30 a.m.; not a regular rising time for me. I did not know why. Got to bed early Sunday night; had a great evening with the kids playing video games and sharing ‘Family’ time…and turned in early.

And, then it hit me. Not that I didn’t know that it was my late Mother’s first birthday since her passing in April, but the magnitude of the emotions swelling within me…

The emotion of grieving is particularly personal.

In the South, we have an ancestral tie to grieving. My mom, Shirley Jean ‘McKinnie’ Pritchett was proud of her Tennessee kin; and I was as well – magnified by my late-in-life learning of the fact my great-great-great grandfather rode with the 7th TN. Calvary and General Nathan Bedford Forrest for the final two years of the war….

How long was it before Scarlett O’Hara was able to take off the Black Clothes and -I think -dance?

A random glimpse of her name on the Memorial Book under a rash of Newspapers; a glance at the mirror which contains one of the few photos I have of my mother; fond and endless memories making their way to my mind’s forefront with rays of sunshine gleaming’ in…

I hope you guys get my conveyance with my ‘Slengish’; southern slang in prose…; in all genuineness, it’s an attempt to put into proper perspective  the meaning of life and – to me – that’s a pretty difficult thing to do apparently.   I don’t know, I may be alone in this thinking.

*The following was written thru a stream of consciousness I wish to share only once – in my lifetime.

In regards to this prior matter, the perspective in life is only gained through years lived. It’s just the way it works sometimes. So, at 51 and staring the future straight in the face, the focus becomes crystalized…

The moving away from my small, beloved Hometown

I have two traveling partners on this sojourn in Life; as I sit here with the wind blowing feverishly into the window a west warm breeze blazing away on the keyboard hopefully destined to live that dream so that others can fulfill theirs…

I welcome the obligation to impart what I’ve gained thru my 51 years on this planet – with well documented life long struggles with daily life; the experiences of living – on the outlaw side – and on the inside within the system…

Knowing right from wrong but choosing to do wrong more than right more often than not.

This world we inhabit is a most peculiar place. I believe in GOD. I know that ray of sunshine beaming on my hands as I write this comes from a place far away; And, no, I don’t have all the answers.

Don’t pretend to have them.

I’m obligated to keep my two young innocent children from harm’s way until they can protect their own self; don’t throw them to the wolves before their eyes aren’t opened to see the end of the line..

There is a way.

There is a plan. There is Hope.

It’s all within your heart.

Rest in Peace Mom; for you efforts shall not be in vain…

*later reaction to above post…

*Today has been a most humbling day. All families deal with tragedy, suffering, heartbreak and  sorrow. It’s’ life. It’s what we live. Tomorrow is not a given. Take today. This day and make it all you got because tomorrow…

As I regrouped – as best I could – to venture to the graveyard for the first time since Mom passed. I halted. These are the things that you must do. I took Kaylie and Mason with me for support.

Not a great place for an 8 & 9-year-old to spend a spring-feeling late fall afternoon – but I did. It’s what I was tought to do.

So, as I drove to the gravesite. I saw an Angel standing there waiting for me….

*Someday I’ll tell the story about that…but not Today.

For, if the Good Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise again…there is tomorrow…

And, then it rained….

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